If I were you!
by Pezzi
Summary: Kim has spent years trying to figure out just what made Jared tick. She's had enough and is determined to get answers!
1. Chapter 1: The Gene Pool Needs A Little

"Jared!" I hissed under my breath again, waiting anxiously for him to pass over the worksheet the teacher had handed out. I had called him 3 times now and I was starting to think about giving up. I sighed heavily in frustration as he passed the stack of papers _the wrong_ way and flopped back in his seat.

He's ignoring me again.

At least this was a welcome change from previous years when he used to go out of his way to torture me. Although, that was in grade school and I should be well over any past wrong-doings on his part. I peeked through the curtain of my hair, watching him as he stared out the window. He sighed, sinking lower in his chair and I quickly turned away. I looked down at my desk, thinking for a moment, before grabbing a pencil and throwing it at his leg. He didn't even look over. Now I was without a handout and a pencil! I stood up and stomped to the front, grabbing a copy from the extras sitting on the teacher's desk before barrelling down the isle, bending down and grabbing my poor pencil from under Jared's foot. He grunted as I pushed his leg out of the way. Ahhh...a reaction at last. But he still didn't look over and in defeat I returned to my desk.

I didn't have a crush on Jared. Truth be told, I didn't like him at all. He was always a very attractive guy: tall, dark and handsome. And now he was more attractive following his month long break from school. But all of my dealings with him had led me to view him warily. We had been born and raised in this town and up until I turned 12, he had tormented me. From pushing me down in the mud when we were three, ruining my new patent leather Maryjanes and BRAND NEW clean, white dress, to chopping off one of my pigtails with the classroom scissors when were 6 (that resulted in an unflattering boy haircut) to telling Paul all about how I had a crush on him when we were 11, Jared wasn't exactly my favourite person. When I turned 12, my father was diagnosed with cancer and my mom sent me to live with my grandmother for a year while they dealt with getting my father better.

I stayed with my grandmother until my father went into remission...and when I returned to La Push, it was like I was a new student. At least in Jared's eyes. He didn't torment me anymore. In fact, he didn't even look at me. Nothing. Blank. I was plastic wrap to him: clear, see-through, transparent. And for a couple years, I enjoyed my new role in Jared's life. Or lack there-of. But now it was just irritating! I mean, pass me my damn work, you douche bag! You can't not be aware that there is someone sitting directly to the left of you!

The bell rang, pulling me from my thoughts. I jumped out of my desk and bashed into Jared, dropping all of my books on the ground. He continued to push past me, followed out the door by my furious cry of "JERK!". My friend Amy knelt down beside me, picking up my scattered school supplies from where Jared had knocked them. She rolled her eyes at me as I huffily shoved everything in my bag.

"I swear...one day, I'm going to bite his ear!" I hissed out between my clenched teeth. She laughed, pulling me up off the floor.

"C'mon, Mike Tyson. School is over. I'll take you home."

That afternoon, Amy and I hung out at my place finishing up our homework so that we didn't have to do any over the weekend. Sounds dorky, but this was our routine since before I left La Push. It worked out well for us because we always had Friday night and all of Saturday and Sunday to do whatever, while everyone else had to work their asses off just to finish up in time for Monday. So, yes, we were awesome. Look at us.

Friday night found us having a girl-fest, movie night with a few of our classmates. Needless to say, I woke up Saturday with a sugar hangover and bags under my eyes. Throwing myself out of bed, I jumped in the shower, preparing for work.

Starting at the beginning of my junior year, I had talked myself into a job at the local library. It was tiny. Miniscule, really, but it was a job. And I loved it. I worked there Tuesdays and Thursdays after school and on Saturday in the afternoon. It didn't pay much, but it kept me in sunglasses, my true passion. I have a box full of them. Under my bed. I love them. Unfortunately, I didn't get to wear them often, on account of all the rain that we got here in La Push.

...Speaking of rain, I needed to get out in it so that I could get to work faster. I grabbed an apple from the kitchen and an umbrella from the closet on my way out the door. Unfurling the umbrella, I hopped off the step, deftly avoiding the large pool of rainwater that had collected at the bottom.

I loved the rain. Most of the time, anyways. There is nothing like skipping through puddles in gumboots, covered in protective rain gear, I thought, sighing happily. It was somewhere between my fifth and sixth puddle jump that I ran into a wall. A tall, fleshy wall. My umbrella fell out of my hands and I felt myself start to fall backwards into the puddle that I had so lately enjoyed. My free fall ended abruptly as two huge hands grabbed my arms and pulled me upright. I reached down and grasped my umbrella before looking up at my rescuer. _Paul?_ I thought to myself. He hadn't been at school in almost a month. A month in which he'd grown almost a foot taller and had put on about 60 pounds of muscle. I gaped at him like a guppy out of water.

He winked at me before saying, "Kim! How you been?"

"I'm alright...where have you been? Did you disappear and do steroids for a month?" I looked him over again. He just smirked at me, so I continued. "Thanks for rescuing my butt from a wet fate," I turned kicking the puddle and glaring at it rebelliously. "Well...I'm off to work." I walked around him, waving as I went by.

"Hey, I'll walk with you."

We walked in silence for a minute or two before I said, "So, you're buddy-buddy with Jared. Why does he pretend I don't exist?"

Paul looked over at me and said, "You can't guess? Let me break things down for you. He harassed you for what? Six years? You know what it means when a little boy torments a little girl like that, right?" I looked at him blankly. No. Jared didn't have a crush on me. Not ever. And I told Paul that too, before kicking him in the shin and running away. He laughed after me, telling me that he'd see me later, but I ignored him, running up the stairs of the library and past the front desk.

Damn Paul.

All I thought about throughout my shift and well into my walk home was Jared and his possible Kim-session. I was willing to concede that he had _possibly_ harboured feelings of a tender nature for me in our younger days, but how could I account for his inability to acknowledge me following my triumphant return to La Push? I just didn't understand what had happened to make him see through me. I could easily understand how he could get over any feelings he had for me after not seeing me for a year.

That I could understand.

And, I did appreciate the moratorium on torment he had instituted following my return, but to just ignore me? I mean...there aren't that many people on the reservation to begin with. Its not as if I was constantly in the midst of a crowd and he just literally couldn't see me due to all of the people surrounding me. I am short. I would get lost in a crowd. But that's neither here nor there because in La Push, crowds consist of 3-5 people. I'm not kidding. It's a small place.

This is a mystery. A mystery that I want solved. On Monday, I would _force_ Jared to talk to me! And with that sudden and forceful thought, I waltzed into my house, greeted by the mouth-watering scent of my mom's lasagna.

Oh mama, you are my hero!


	2. Chapter 2: You're Running about Average

**Yay! I got a review! Thank you so much, jennyluna! You`re a gem!**

**Again. I own nothing. Ms. Meyers has the rights. **

The weekend finished up in a big rush. Figures. I was having such a good time...however, I was also full of anticipation as I quickly got myself ready for school, before rushing out the door determined to confront Jared. The whole way, I practiced my intended speech.

I imagined the conversation to go as follows:

Me: Ahem. Hello...Jared.

Jared: *blinks and turns his head away from me*

Me: I said, HELLO JARED! *here, I imagined that I would stand up beside his desk, intimidating him with my daunting stature - I`m a whopping 5`2...scary*

I also had a back-up plan if my intimidation tactic fell through. I would stand there and poke him insistently with my pencil until he talked to me.

Jared: *following several taps with my pencil, slowly turns and looks at me* Yes? Can I help you?

Me: Yes. Yes YOU can! I demand that you pay attention to me! AND pass me my papers in class!

...and that's about as far as I'd gotten while imagining the conversation. I thought that forcing him to look at me would be sufficient. At least, I hoped it would be because I didn't really know what else I could follow-up "pass me my papers" with. As long as I was forceful, I was sure things would work out in my favour.

_Forceful, Kim_. _Be forceful! _Step with left foot, step with right. _I can do it! I can do it!_ I continued my mantra as I stuffed my backpack in my locker, grabbed the appropriate books, squared my shoulders, breathed deeply and marched smartly off to class.

It wasn't until I reached my first class of the day that I realized I wouldn't have the opportunity to verbalize my intentions to Jared.

Oh yes. _Intentions_.

As in I intended having him pay attention to me. Ohhhhhhh he _will_ pass me papers at appropriate times in an appropriate fashion during class! And if I happen to bump into him whilst traipsing down the hall, he _will_ acknowledge me!

While it was disappointing that I wouldn't see him immediately, I knew that I had enough determination to keep my thoughts together. I was going to get this done! Nodding to myself, I sat in my seat and prepared for the days lessons.

Following lunch, I , again, squared my shoulders and marched towards English class. I heard Amy call out my name as I passed her but I waved her off, determined to get this over with _and_ keep my train of thought at the same time. I walked through the classroom door and towards my desk, sitting down, I placed my books smartly in front of me and turned to the right opening my mouth, preparing to bombard Jared with my thoughts on how rude he was, only to notice that he was not yet seated at his desk.

Alright. Disappointing. But a minor set-back will not stop me! I stayed in position, facing Jared's desk and counting down the minutes until the bell rang. I was beginning to lose hope as everyone else had arrived and there was still no sign of Jared. The nerve of that jerk! Fine! Don't come to class! I sighed deeply, turning to the front of the class. The adrenalin rushed out of my body and I slumped in my seat, resting my head against the back of the chair.

The bell rang. And I looked up as the teacher started to shut the door only to be stopped as Jared pushed his way in to the class. Late.

_I hate your face, Jared_, I thought to myself, scrunching up my own face and giving him the evil eye as he walked to his desk and sat down. I continued glaring at him as the teacher began talking. I glared and glared and glared some more. I was so involved in glaring that I didn't notice that the teacher had stopped talking and that my classmates were shuffling around as they partnered up with the person at the desk next to them. I finally stopped glaring when Jared turned towards me, sighing heavily. I stopped squinting my eyes at him when his eyes met mine. And I felt my mouth drop open as I suddenly realized that I was looking into the most perfect eyes...ever.

Oh. Wow. I think I'm in love...

_Breathe, Kim. Breathe!_

I took a huge breath of air, turning back to the front and darting my eyes around the room in an attempt to avoid looking at Jared. I was so embarrassed. I was gulping like a guppy, desperately trying to draw air into my lungs because I couldn't breathe due to the fact that Jared was FINALLY noticing me. I was so lost in thought that when I heard someone whispering "Kim", I shushed them, tapping my foot as I tried to sort out what was happening here. It wasn't until he whispered "Kim" again that I turned back towards him, knowing that I couldn't put this off any longer.

He was looking at me with the strangest look on his face; a mixture of longing, love, confusion and I didn't know what else. I opened my mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. Great...I'm doing the guppy thing...again. I didn't know exactly how I was going to handle _this_. I didn`t even know what this was. I looked down at my hands, dropping my head down and curtaining myself with the long sheets of my hair.

After sitting in silence for five minutes, I couldn't take it much longer and peeked over at him. He was mirroring my posture, staring down at his hands. Oh cute...we match. I mentally shook my head. Now what? I kicked the leg of my desk, quietly jiggled my foot and snuck a look at Jared again only to catch him sneaking a peak at me.

Oh gawd, not again...breathe Kim! In. Out. In. Out.

Luckily, half-way into my second round of hyperventilation, the bell rang. I stood up at the same time that Jared did, bumping against him. He jumped back, his eyes wide, whispering a quiet "sorry...Kim" before racing out of the classroom.

Well...I may not have intimidated him into paying attention to me, but I sure did something. I gathered up my things and headed out the door.

Goal for this afternoon: find Amy, discuss Jared situation.


	3. Chapter 3: Good Job, Killa!

**Thank you for the reviews! They make me happy! **** See? Big smiles.**

**I own nothing but my Hello Kitty pjs, my car and the teddy bear I got in grade 2.**

**Chapter 3: Good job, Killa!**

I found Amy waiting by my locker and, in relief, I dropped all of my school stuff at her feet and flopped on the floor, leaning my head against my locker. She rolled her eyes at my over-dramatization.

"What's up, buttercup?"

I sighed heavily, kicking my feet like a child throwing a temper tantrum. I wanted to talk to her so badly. I wanted her opinion on what was up with Jared and, more importantly, I wanted her to straighten me out. _What the hell happened back there?_ It just didn't make any sense to me. An hour ago I couldn't wait to tell him what an ass I thought he was and now...now I think he's the most beautiful man to walk the face of the earth.

Ew. Don't worry...in punishment for that overly poetic, incredibly sappy thought, I banged my head against my locker.

Amy poked me, having had enough of waiting for my tantrum to end. "Let's go, Kimmy. Get up. UP! UP!" She pulled on my arm and leaned me against the locker bank and, as I mutinously stared at her, she packed up my school stuff and dragged me out of the school. After stuffing me into the passenger seat of her car and throwing my backpack on the floor at my feet, she hopped in the driver seat. As we sped out of the parking lot, I looked at the front of the school to see Jared standing there staring at me. I started hyperventilating again. Luckily, this didn't last long because Amy reached over and pinched me.

"Ow! What the hell, Am?"

"Dude...you're freaking me out. I feel like I'm babysitting you. You're unresponsive and moody. I demand you tell me what is going on, right now."

I breathed in deeply. "Remember how I was determined to tell Jared how it is today? Well, I had every intention of 'getting all up in his business' but before I could he hypnotized me and now I think he's the best thing since fuzzy pyjamas."

Amy burst out laughing. "He 'hypnotized' you? All up in his business? That sounds like a rough class, Kim. He took the jam right out of your donut, didn't he?"

"Yes...and rained on my parade...peed on my cornflakes, etcetera, etcetera. Let's stop with the idioms. Help me figure this out because as it stands right now, every time I see him I hyperventilate and this is a small town." I stared at her pointedly. "What am I supposed to do now, Am? I mean, I strongly disliked Jared prior to _the incident_ this afternoon and now I think of him and I drool. I _drool_! Do you know how humiliating that is? My life is ruined!" I threw my hands up for emphasis and waved them around.

Amy pulled into my driveway, turned off the car and then turned to me. "First, you're being a dork. Your life is not over because you looked at some guy, thought they were cute and fell into a crush. Second, if you're now one of those drool-y type girls you're going to need to start carrying around some kind of absorptive material. I suggest Kleenex."

"Amy!"

"Kim, you know I'm right. You're going to have to get used to having a crush. That's all this is. I know it's new to you, but you just gotta deal. Like every other girl on the face of the planet. Put on your big girl panties and suck it up! Now, march into your house, do your homework and chill!" She pointed authoritatively towards my front door.

I blinked at her. She was right. I'd never really indulged in that time honoured teenage girl activity of crushing. Maybe that was it. Maybe I'd been so caught up in everything that was going on in my life that Jared, in the role of my first crush, had caught me by surprise. I grabbed my stuff off the floor and waved absently to Amy before making my way into the house.

Alright. I can work with this. Jared is my crush. I have a crush on Jared. I stopped, waiting to see if I would start with the hyperventilating again. I didn't.

Victory is mine! All mine! Alright...it's Amy's, but I can take some of the credit. I mean, I just got my first crush. Didn't that mean I should get a party? Or a cake? Or even a cookie? Mmm...cookies.

After eating dinner and doing my homework, I got ready for bed, thinking about Jared again. Tomorrow would be a much better day. I could deal with the embarrassment I would feel over today's silliness now that I knew I thought he was cute. K.I.S.S.I.N.G...in an apple tree.

I ended my day with a pep talk: no funny breathing, no running away. If he talks to me, awesome. If he doesn't...OMG, I'll be devastated! No. No, I'll be fine. And I knew I would because, after all, he was only a crush.


	4. Chapter 4: Bust a Move!

**Okay...I kind of suck. I don't know where I've been mentally the last whack of months, but I've been somewhere and that somewhere involved very little creative output. So, here I am, continuing on with this story! **

**As always, I own nothing but the cream soda slurpee in my left hand. S. Meyers gets the credit.**

**Chapter 4: Bust a move!**

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I bolted upright in bed. Seriously? 7am already?

After my self-directed pep talk last night, I was feeling more confident this morning. And, if I wasn't, I wasn't going to let anyone know that I was feeling a little nervous. Nope. No way, Jose! I am Kim, hear me roar! I jumped out of bed with purpose and promptly banged my toe against my bedside table. Okay...I need to reassess here. I need to be cautiously confident. Being accident prone is not going to help.

I gingerly navigated my way through my morning ablutions, shoving my breakfast down my throat as I hopped out the door and straight on the road to school. At this point, on the mind-numbingly boring walk to school, I fell into my first Jared inspired daydream. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to do more than kiss him. I wanted him. BAD!

I think I drooled a bit.

This is not how I wanted the day to start. While I had acknowledged that I did indeed have a crush on Jared, I wasn't ready to descend into sexy, sexy daydreams about him just yet. I mean, I still had to work on the hyperventilating thing I had going on whenever he was around...or whenever I thought about him. I nodded firmly. Yes. Let's deal with the breathing issue.

Kim's List of Things to Be Done!

Learn how to breathe in a way suitable to a confident, vivacious young woman of the world!

I trudged, vivaciously of course, towards the school, so caught up in my thoughts that I was not prepared for the obstacle that jumped into my path.

"Kim!"

I slowly dragged my eyes up from the firm, broad chest that my nose had so recently been introduced to up to the gorgeous face staring down at me. OhmygoditsJared. Okay. Breathe in, 1, 2. Breathe out, 3, 4. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I stared up at him, continuing my inner mantra. He stared back at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. Anything. Maybe it was important. Maybe the next thing out of my mouth needed to be an acknowledgement of something.

I opened my mouth and said, "Hi". I looked to my left and then to my right, looked back at Jared, nodded my head and sidled around him. Perfect. That couldn't have gone better! I walked up the steps of the school and through the open door. I had almost reached my locker when I was again met by Jared. I raised my eyebrow at him. "How did you get here so fast? I left you first!"

He smiled down at me again, his eyes wide as if trying to get as much of me in his sight as possible. "So, Kim. Um...what are you doing later?"

"Later when? Later today, I'll be attending classes in which you will also be expected to attend. After that, I will be avoiding homework. After that, I will be back in class...it's a vicious cycle." I peered up at him.

"Yeah, for sure." He nodded. "But do you want to...I don't know, want to do something with me?"

I blinked. What? He wanted to "do" something with me? My mind immediately flashed to dirty, naughty thoughts. I mentally slapped myself. NO Kim! Get it together! Taking a deep breath in, I faced Jared full on and said "I have to go to the bathroom!". He blinked at me and I ran around him and down the hall to the nearest bathroom. Pushing the door open, I walked over to the sink and promptly splashed water on my face. Wow. I was sure classy. I could tell that my goal of being confident was not working out the way that I hoped. I wiped my face with a paper towel, threw it in the bin beside the bank of sinks and turned around only to be met with the incredulous stares of the two boys who had come in to use the urinals. Oh. OH! I was in the men's bathroom! Blushing a violent shade of fire engine red, I grasped at the strings of my fading confidence and nodded regally to the guys. "The ladies was...full." I said carefully and flounced out the door.

Unfortunately, the day did not improve. My lunch hour began with Paul sidling over to me and of a very, very unappetizing sandwich. I stared at it disgustedly before transferring my gaze to the annoyance standing beside me. He flopped down in the chair beside me before grabbing the only part of my lunch that looked delicious: my apple. He then proceeded to take a bite out of it. I started fuming.

"So...Kimmy. I heard you had an interesting morning". I looked at him. He stared back unblinkingly. "Is that so, Paul? Is it? What did you hear?"

He grinned at me, slinging his arm around the back of my chair. "I heard all about your little foray into the men's bathroom. Giving yourself an anatomy lesson, were you?" I glared at him. "YOU are an apple-stealing ASS!" I screeched before standing up and stomping away. In the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Jared coming into the cafeteria. I ducked quickly through the swinging doors leading into the kitchen, speed walked to the back door and out through to the hallway. I leaned against the door, breathing in the fresh clean air of freedom. Suddenly, I found myself thrown to the floor as the door behind me flew open. My head banged against the wall and I saw stars.

"KIM! Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I blinked trying to clear the blunt-force trauma induced blindness. My attacker grabbed at my arms, trying to roll me on to my back. I batted at the arms that were pawing at me. "Stop! Stop it! I'm fine!" I rolled over and sat up. I looked at the body attached to the (un)helpful arms. _Sigh_. I knew that chest.


	5. Chapter 5: Dawn of the Dead

**Okay. So you don't hear from me for like a year and now I've got 2 chapters out in 2 days. I think I deserve a cookie!**

**This chapter advances things a little bit and it's full of a little anger, a little humiliation and a dash of cuteness...kinda...in between the icky, you just gotta look deep!**

**Once again, I own NOTHING but my HelloKitty! undies and the mini-library in my front room. Oh. And a buttload of pens.**

Chapter 5: Dawn of the Dead

Oh. I _knew _that chest alright. My breath huffed out of my lungs with a ferocious push as I shoved my back against the wall and pushed up, moving myself from my slumped over state on the floor to a more dignified _gangsta' lean_ against the wall. I shoved the hair out of my face, looking down to meet Jared's eyes. _Oh buster_, I thought, _you may have hip checked me into a wall and I may be completely ready to shove my face into the side of your neck whilst demanding that you carry me somewhere far, far away, but YOU are just a crush!_ I mentally shook myself. Focus!

Jared was continuing to mutter under his breath. I could hear the raspy sound of his voice and the continuous litany of "I'm so sorry Kim" and "You could have been hurt so bad! I'm SUCH an IDIOT!" Yes Jared, you are an idiot. Unfortunately, you aren't the only one in this little tableau. Hoping to get him to stop his self-abuse, I reached down and quickly plucked at his t- shirt. "Stand up Jared. I think I'm fine." He stopped talking and stood up quickly. I blinked at him. "You know, just a couple days ago I wanted you to acknowledge me. Now it seems as if you are trying to make up for a couple years of avoidance in less than a week." I said, tilting my head to the side as I peered at him. He blushed and looked down mutely, avoiding both my eyes and my un-asked question. I continued staring at him for what felt like a few more minutes but was really only 30 to 42 seconds - what can I say? I'm not that patient -before sighing heavily. "Alright Jared, I'm off. I'm going to try to forget what a disappointing morning this was for me. And don't worry about our little collision. I'm sure I'll be fine". I hooked my arm through my back-pack strap and walked around the corner. It wasn't until I reached the corner that I noticed how nauseated I was feeling. With each step, I felt sicker and sicker and the bathroom wasn't close enough. I stopped and leaned against the side of the hallway wall, closing my eyes and willing myself NOT to throw up in the hall.

Breathe in 1, 2, 3; out 1, 2, 3.

In with the good, out with the bad! In with the good...out with the bad...

I really should have given in to my initial impulse to throw myself on Jared. Instead of taking me away, he could have carried my pukey-butt to the nurse. I leaned my head down, my hands resting on the tops of my knees as I rested my back against the wall. The sudden echoing of steps in the hallway alerted me to my change in status: I was no longer "alone". I tried to look casual. Keep on trucking, student. Nothing to see here. Nope...this girl is not going to throw up in front of you. No siree! The footsteps stopped next to me.

"Kim, are you okay?" Jared. Again. I could feel the bile rising up my stomach. "You look...you look...um...green?"

I sucked in a huge gust of air. Was he _asking_ me if I looked green? Or telling me? Way to be clear Jared! My vision started to get blurry and spots appeared in my peripheral vision. I started to feel the saliva pooling in my mouth, panicking as I realized that I was most definitely not going to make it to the bathroom in time. I stood up from the wall, pushing passed Jared and starting doing a speed-shuffle down the hallway, my hands clasped over my mouth.

"Kim! What are you doing?" I heard Jared call out before I felt his hands grasping the tops of my arms, turning me around to face him. I dropped my hands from my mouth grasping onto his forearms in an attempt to steady myself. "Jared...I'm sorry..." I croaked out before bending at the waist and barfing my cookies all over his white Nikes. Ew...good thing I hadn't eaten that sandwich at lunch or the apple...I'd have to thank Paul later for saving me from the fate of throwing up half-digested green apple and from chasing me away from the lunch table or this whole situation could have been a whole lot worse! I remained bent over, not daring to look up at Jared, unwilling to face the humiliation I was feeling head on or the look of disgust he _must_ have plastered on his face.

I had PUKED on my newly discovered crush!

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure this is not how these things are supposed to go! I know that you go out for dinner with your crush, you go to the movies, you have a picnic in the park but you do not, I repeat DO NOT, throw up on them! I watched what, until 60 seconds ago, had been clean, white sneakers as Jared toed them off and reached down hooking his fingers under the tongues, my eyes following his socked feet as they walked over to the garbage can and dumped the soiled sneakers in. I continued to watch his feet as he walked back over to my side. He placed a hand at my back and bent down, reaching an arm under my legs as he scooped me up in his arms. I closed my eyes as the sudden shift in position caused my dizziness to increase. Plus, with my eyes closed, I wouldn't have to see the absolute disgust in his eyes. He started walking, carefully cradling me against his chest. It briefly crossed my mind that he might be putting me in the garbage can along with his discarded shoes, but I dropped that thought as I realized the number of footsteps he had taken so far had already put us far passed the bin. I stayed limp, keeping my eyes squeezed shut as we suddenly came to a stop.

"Poor dear," I heard. "What's happened to her?"

"She bumped her head and then threw up in the hallway. Do you think it's a concussion?" Jared answered.

"Possibly. Best you take her to the hospital. I will tell inform her parents and have them meet you there. That's if you are able to take her?"

I felt myself clutched tighter against Jared's hard chest. "I can take her! It's fine!" He forced out, his heart beating hard against the side of my head. Ow. He turned quickly and walked out the door, heading for the student parking lot. All this movement was enforcing a feeling in my brain similar to that of being on a boat. The undulating waves were bringing back the nausea and I began panicking again as I realized that I was about to get strapped into a car. An enclosed car. It was becoming very clear to me what would happen if I got into that car right now. I really didn't want to puke on him _and_ his car! I needed to stop repeating the word car; it was definitely making the nausea worse. This was not going to work for me. Not at all!

"Stop!" I wheezed out. "Put me down!" I attempted to push against Jared's large frame giving myself enough distance to lean away from him so that I could throw up again. He tried to pull my head back against his chest but in a fit of desperation, I shoved my upper body out of his arms just in time. He readjusted my position and held my hair back for me as I retched.

Why wouldn't he just leave me alone? Why couldn't I simply expire at this very moment? Instead, he was being so...so...nice! I just knew, in the marrow of my bones, that while he was acting so nice to me he must be gazing at me with a look of pure, unadulterated revulsion. I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as they would go. I couldn't handle him looking at me like that. I was almost certain that it would make me lose my temper and then, not only would I be throwing up like a geyser but I would be having a temper tantrum while I was doing it! I groaned. I could not make this situation any worse. Not only have I thrown up in front of Jared...I've thrown up on him. I stopped my thoughts from going any further. Already been down _that_ road today, Kimmy.

Let's stick to what we can control at this very moment.

First, OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES! He may be glaring at you but you just gotta deal with it, missy!

I forced my eyes open, feeling the flesh around them smart from being forced into a wrinkled position for so long. My mother was right: if you make a face for too long, your skin _WILL_ stay that way! I reached my hands up to my features, rubbing at my eyes to ease the sting. Once that went away, I began to feel more in control.

Okay. Step two...look at Jared.

I forced my gaze over to Jared to find that he was looking at me not with an expression of disgust but with one of concern. Seeing my eyes peering up at him, he smiled at me softly before brushing his hand along my forehead. "Better?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow as if to punctuate the question. My stomach fluttered at the soft touch of his fingers against my skin and I shivered from the heat of being in close proximity to him. My nausea had dissipated following the last bought of upchucking I had partaken in which made me more confident as I stepped closer to him. I nodded slowly in answer to his question, not removing my eyes from his as he picked me up and carried me towards his car, at a much gentler, much more acceptable pace this time. He strapped me into the vehicle taking care to roll down the window before shutting the door and climbing into the driver's seat. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the side of the door.

"Jared." I said softly.

"Yes Kim?"

"Thank you..."


	6. Chapter 6: Baby got Back

**I don't know how I feel about this chapter. Or this story really. I'm worried about going around and around in circles and I really hope that I'm not doing that. Kim frustrates me because I want everything to just be resolved but for some reason she keeps fighting with me, wanting to over think everything, wanting to fight against what I have planned for her. But, I hold the ultimate power **

**I wanted to say thank you to the people who have reviewed or placed an alert on my story. It's nice to have positive support and I appreciate every one of you!**

**Again, I own nothing. S. Meyer's has full rights to Kim and Jared.**

Chapter 6: Baby got back...

It had been a day since Jared had dragged me to the Hospital. As far as I was concerned, all that had happened was that I hit my head and he took me to the doctor. All of the events in between I was determined to repress into the depths of my subconscious. My parents had met Jared and I at the hospital and I was promptly whisked away on a magical journey to get a CT Scan. The doctor confirmed that yes, I did have a concussion and yes, I would need to be careful for the next couple of days: no school, no excitement. _Thank sweet baby Jesus_. Hopefully this forced respite would allow me to further bury the embarrassment I felt over my amazing upchuck abilities by giving me a great excuse to avoid both school and Jared... at least for a couple of days.

Unfortunately for me, fate and Jared had other plans.

I glanced down my pajama covered legs to the lap that my feet were resting on. I wiggled my toes, pressing them against hard thighs as if willing the body attached to the thighs to fall off the couch. I sighed as a large, very warm hand reached down and covered up my tootsies, bringing my eyes up to the face attached to the body...

"Jared...shouldn't you be in school?"

"No Kim, I should be right here." He grinned at me. I frowned back pulling my feet from his lap and twisting myself to sit up straight on the couch. "Look! I really...appreciate...you stopping by but I need to be resting, not talking, so you should probably go."

He gestured to a large shopping bag he had deposited beside the couch when he came in to my living room, before he had deposited me on the couch with my feet ensconced in the delicious warmth of his lap. Mentally slapping a palm to my face, I stopped that line of thought right where it started. "Kim, I brought movies, tons of movies. Movies promote rest, you know".

"Yeah, they promote rest and couch-potato-itis!" I huffed. This morning was not going how I planned at all! "C'mon Kim, we'll watch a movie, you can relax. Hey, let me make amends for giving you a..._concussion_." He said, lowering his voice over the word concussion as if it were the worst word on the planet. "Please Kim...please?" He looked at me with these...I don't know..._puppy dog_ eyes, bending his head forward and staring at me through his thick eyelashes. What kind of guy has eyelashes like that?

I sighed heavily. "Fine." I stamped my foot for emphasis. "FINE! You pick a movie. Let's do this!" I stomped over the couch and threw myself into the corner. He quickly shuffled through the bags and pulled out The Princess Bride. "_The Princess Bride_? Seriously? That's what you are going to pick?" I asked. Well played Jared. Well played. Not being a huge fan of overly sappy, super cheesy romantic films, I could appreciate the humour in The Princess Bride. Maybe his choice of movie could be construed as a little obvious, most girls get off on the overblown romance between Buttercup and Wesley, but I thought it was endearing that he picked it. For some reason, his choice of movie settled me down, making me feel more comfortable in his presence.

He smiled at me before popping the movie in the d.v.d player and settling himself in the corner. I watched him for a moment or two before turning to the t.v and proceeded to watch the movie with Jared. Well, I watched the movie while gingerly taking side-long glances at Jared. He spent a whole lot of time watching me and instead of making me feel unsettled it made me feel powerful. I mean 24 hours ago I was puking on this guy. Puking! And yet, here he is, sitting beside me on the couch while my hair is in an afro on my head, wearing my Sponge-Bob onesie and he's looking at me like I'm wonderful. Maybe he has a thing for Sponge-Bob? I mean, who doesn't love pineapple? And Sponge-Bob lives in one! And he's a _sponge_! Sponges can be a lot of fun. At bath time. When you are 3. Alright, obviously there is something going on here.

I turned my head to fully look at him. Sometime during my internal monologue he had inched his way out of the corner of the couch and was now sitting much closer to me. I gave him a look that clearly stated _I know what you are doing buddy so watch it!_ And turned back to the movie. Leaning myself further into the couch cushions that were now much closer to Jared's arm than they had been 5 minutes ago, I told myself it's time to relax. All I had been doing was focussing on the negative. Sure, Jared was a total and utter dick to me for _years_ and yes he had been a little...well, a lot strange the last couple of days, but I had decided that he was my crush and, me being me, I was going to learn to embrace this whole-heartedly. He sure was sweet when he had carried me into the hospital waiting room and he was sitting here beside me, keeping me company, even though I looked like a horror story and he had picked out a great movie. I slowly leaned to the right feeling my side become warmer the closer I got to Jared. Eventually, after what felt like hours of inching my way over, I was settled against him. He didn't say anything but I thought I could hear him sigh in what I interpreted as contentment and we had settled in to watch the remainder of the movie.

The next day followed much the same. Jared ditch school to continue babysitting me, arriving soon after my parents left for work. I felt much more comfortable around him especially since I had an inkling he would be coming over again – yeah, as he left yesterday he said "See you tomorrow Kim"; I am a freaking genius – and had prepared myself by actually brushing my hair and dressing myself in something a little more alluring than a onesie. I answered the door to his knock and invited him in.

"My appetite is back so I'm going to make breakfast. Are you hungry?" I asked. He barked out a laugh and I looked at him curiously. "I'm always hungry Kim." I smiled at him, before grabbing the ingredients for pancakes and pulling out the eggs and bacon. I eyeballed his large frame. "I bet you can eat a ton of food! You would definitely not be a cheap date, would ya?" I winked at him cheerily as I bustled around the kitchen mixing and dumping and buttering as I went. He gasped, "Are you trying to imply that I'm _high maintenance_? Because let me tell you, I'm not!"

I laughed. "We'll have to see about that. You come off as fairly at ease but I bet you have a diva hidden deep down in the cockles of your heart". I expertly flipped over the pancakes, finishing them off in the pan before sliding them onto a plate along with the eggs and the bacon. Handing him the first plate, I scooped myself out a much smaller portion before sitting beside him at the table. We ate in silence, chewing contentedly.

"Kim?" Jared said. I looked up at him inquisitively. "What do you want to do today?" I got up from the table, depositing our plates in the sink and turned back to look at him. "Well, I want to do my homework," I said, grinning over at him. "Amy dropped my missed assignments off to me last night and I've gotta get that stuff finished. Did you bring your books with you?" He shook his head, peering at me intently. "You..._want_...to get your homework done?" He asked. "Well, yeah. I've worked really hard to get my GPA just where I want it. I'm hoping that it along with my extra-curricular activities will help me get into a good college."

"Oh. College." He looked down at his hands. "Um...are you going far?"

"I don't know yet Jared. We don't really have to worry about it until next year anyways; I was just trying to get myself in a good position to compete for a spot."

He looked up at me. "Yeah...next year..." We awkwardly stared at each other for a few moments before I ruined the intense silence. "Why don't you go get your books and we can do some work?" He looked at the floor, clearing his throat before turning back to me. "Um...I think I'm going to go. I have some stuff to do..."

"Oh," I said. He looked so sad, staring down at his hands. "Are you alright Jared?" I crossed over to the table, putting my hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look up at me. "I'm okay...I'm just...I'm going to go." He stood up quickly giving me a half-smile that looked more like a grimace and walked out the door. Just. Like. That.

I stared after him for a moment before grabbing my bag and starting my work.

That afternoon, I lay flopped on my bed lost in thought. My bedroom door flew up and I watched as Amy flipped down into my circle chair in the corner of my room. "Kimmy! I've been texting you all day. Answer your phone! What have you been doing? Why are you making that face?"

"Stop Amy! I'm just thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"Stuff...and things."

She rolled her eyes, chucking a pillow at my head. I grabbed it before it could hit me, hugging it to my chest.

"I guess...well, I'm just thinking about Jared."

"Are you thinking about how you threw-up on him? Because you just have to move passed that."

"No, no. I haven't thought about that in at least 2 hours. I'm thinking about what happened today." She nodded at me to continue. "Well, he came over this morning and we had breakfast. Things were peachy keen until he left suddenly! Told me he had stuff to do and just walked right out of the house! I don't get it! How can he go from happy-to-be-with-me to he's scared of me because he thinks I'm contagious in 5 minutes flat?" I took the pillow that I was clutching and covered my face with it leaning back onto the bed.

"Kim. What were you and Jared talking about right before he left?"

"Well, I told him that I was planning on _going_ to college _somewhere_. It wasn't a particularly long conversation because he left right away!"

"Hmmm..." She muttered. "I think that you need to talk to Jared about why he's so sensitive about the college thing. I know you are about to go down a shame-spiral trying to figure out exactly what it is YOU did to make him leave like that and I think the answer is that you didn't do anything. Instead of over-thinking things, you should just ask him."

I looked at her. Ask him? Be direct? That fits into my goal of being confident, going after what I wanted. I was sure that I could ask him what was up. In fact, that's what I would do!

Amy left not long afterwards and as I prepped for school the next day, I thought about my conversation with Jared this morning. No, I definitely didn't do anything wrong, but he had to let me in and tell me why college scared him. Or at least, why me talking about college scare him.

Prepared for tomorrow, I felt much more in control and thanking Amy for being the calm voice of reason, I settled in for the night.


End file.
